Week 18 pics and updates

This week has actually been pretty good. We had a doctor's appointment last week and she told me I was on track weight wise and the baby's heartbeat sounded beautiful. We go in on the 11th for our ultrasound and hopefully the little one is showing the goods (or lack thereof) so we can determine the sex. We are hoping to tape the ultrasound so you all can check it out as well.

Donor, Baby Daddy, Popsicle?

I was at the doctor a few weeks ago and we were discussing genetic testing for the baby. When she found out I was Jewish she asked if the baby's dad was Jewish as well. I paused for a moment and seriously wondered who she was talking about. My dad was Jewish, but I am not sure how that matters - and then it dawned on me. She was referring to the donor.

I politely said "Oh the DONOR, yes he is not Jewish"

Leeane was talking with someone the other day and they asked how tall my husband was, knowing that she and I were married. She had that same sort of confusion, trying to figure out who the hell he was referring to. He said, "oh I mean your husband, er the baby's father." She finally deciphered his message and told him that the "baby daddy" was tall.

She and I talked about this at length later and we have decided to take a more proactive role with this. The sperm is from a donor... nothing more. We appreciate the fact that he is willing to give him swimmers to people like us (for a fee), but this in NO WAY makes him a dad, pop, father or whatever other name you tie to it.

Now for me this is very personal, because I would like to say that my dad was a donor, but he did play a role in my life, so he gets dad status, but make no mistake that is crappy dad status. My stepdad is more of a true dad to me and he didn't come into my life until college, but when I refer to my dad, that is who I am talking about.

Its all so confusing, but I think that this is the exciting change to the definition of a family. Its not about who you are tied to genetically, but rather who you know you can call at anytime and feel confident that they will love you no matter what.

Pics to post tomorrow.

Love you all

Week 17: New photos this week and other fun stuff

I have decided that I am keeping notes and when I am done with this whole process (and everyone says you forget most of it), I am writing a REAL pregnancy book... the cover will feature a pregnant woman with her head in the toilet.

I started the week feeling a lot better than before. The nausea finally lightened and I was at a point where I was no longer having to eat in the middle of the night. The world was perfect. My belly had started to protrude just enough for people to stop looking as if I ate too much over the holidays. Then I started to get a few pains in the belly area. Everyone (who had been pregnant) said this was totally normal.

But a warm bath at 3 a.m. alerted Leeane that this was not normal. I was having pains that were coming in waves and it was time to visit the ER. After we saw that the baby (still don't know the sex) was ok, I learned that I had a bladder infection as was going to have to start taking medicine. What they don't tell you is that you will revert to the first trimester fun of vomiting.

I am finally feeling a better and able to walk upright.

Lesson Learned: drink water all day and don't forget. I think that alone might have kept most of this from happening. Oh and always listen to your wife.... but don't tell her I said that.

Pictures to come later this week. Stay tuned... we hopefully find out the sex on February 11th.

Belly at 15 weeks

Here are some new pictures.

How it happened

So the most asked question is "how did you guys get pregnant?" No I didn't go to a bar and pick up some guy, we didn't use a friend and we didn't do it at home.

We actually started the process back in December 2007. I had to take my temperature every morning before getting out of bed. I kept track of my temperature and eventually my ovulation. It was really interesting because you start to notice how your body changes as it prepares for ovulation, etc.

We started trying to get pregnant in April. We went to a lesbian-owned sperm bank in the city to purchase our sperm and for the first few rounds of IUIs (inter-uterine insemination). Our selection of a donor was based on someone that had similar physical characteristics and likes and dislikes as Leeane. This is not a turkey baster like you might have heard. We had to test for ovulation and when I had an LH surge, we went to the clinic. They take a syringe with a long catheter on the end and thread it through your cervix. Once in, they inject the sperm and you sit on your back for about 10 minutes.... and then you wait. You have to wait about two weeks before you can test.

We tried for six months with no success and in September we finally decided to use Kaiser Permanente for our fertility services. I met with Dr. Erica Breneman, who ran tests and said (like every other doctor) that she didn't think I would have a problem getting pregnant.

I did the same testing as before, but this time they did a scan and decided that I needed a boost to my uterine lining. I took two pills a day and Leeane also gave me an injection to induce ovulation. This allowed us to time the IUI with greater precision than before. When the time came, I went to KP and she did the IUI. I sat there and then went to work.

Two weeks later I was in spin class at the gym and just didn't feel right. At lunch I went to the drug store and got a pregnancy test. The first one immediately turned blue... this never happened before. I immediately called Leeane at work and she just knew. Best day of our lives.

We have decided to be very open about the process so feel free to ask me as many questions as you would like.

Advice:
Ask for a follicle scan at the beginning. We waited because every doc said that I would have no problem. Once we did the scan we made a small tweak and it took the first time.

Don't get frustrated... yeah right. It will happen and you will get upset every time it doesn't take.

If you have a doctor who can address fertility... use them. That was the best decision that we ever made.